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Sonic the Hedgehog
Thead Owner : JHS905, Category : Lounge, 10 Comment, 97 Read
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02-22-2014, 08:01 PM
#1
Sonic the Hedgehog
By: JHS905

He’s the fastest thing alive
And he doesn’t hide in a beehive
He fights his foes with speed
And is the guy to lead
This guy is fast
And never goes last
He’s Sonic the Hedgehog
And moves faster than a moving log
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02-22-2014, 08:03 PM
#2
This is a good poem, thanks for sharing with us!
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02-22-2014, 08:38 PM
#3
Nice poem, 7/10. Could've been better, but pretty good. Thanks for sharing, as Malevolent said :3
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02-22-2014, 09:21 PM
#4
Thank you for the rating.
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02-22-2014, 09:25 PM
#5
Not too bad, the last line could be stronger.
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02-22-2014, 11:59 PM
#6
There's a few incomplete rhymes in your poem but overall it's a decent one.
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02-23-2014, 12:00 AM
#7
This, what you just posted, Is amazing! 9/10 Eh! No 10/10! I hope you post more![/align]
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02-23-2014, 01:16 AM
#8
Thanks everyone. The next poem I make will be a decent one.
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02-23-2014, 05:37 AM
#9
(02-23-2014, 01:16 AM)JHS905 Wrote: Thanks everyone. The next poem I make will be a decent one.

Good to hear my fellow. Always remember that practicing makes perfect! You are on your way.
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02-24-2014, 06:57 PM
#10
The second line makes very little sense and the final line's metaphor is fairly bad. Seems like a grade school rhyming scheme, and the vocabualry is very weak. Look into using more than just metaphors or similes, oxymorons and personification are two things commonly used thst add a lot to poetry.

4/10, needs a lot of revision, sorry. I do look forward to any changes or future work though! :)


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