Feedback on two of my poems

Just would like some feedback, don't be scared to hurt my feelings, any type of feedback is appreciated to help me improve.

Sometimes….

Sometimes we have a tendency to see things that aren’t meant to be seen
Sometimes things aren’t forever as they seem
Sometimes we want somebody to call our own
Especially when we’re alone
Sometimes people simply can’t understand
Why things get out of hand
Sometimes life isn’t fair
Especially once people simply don’t care
And typically it’s exhausting to say
Why things have to be this way.


For you….
I knew that love would come find me one day
But never did I know it’d be you who was headed my way
You caught me unexpectedly and took me by surprise
But you charmed me, the same way you do when I look into your eyes
“Where your treasure is, your heart will be also” is how the old saying goes
I may not have knowledge of what tomorrow may bring, for God is the only one who is aware
The one thing I am sure of is that you are my love, my one and only
A treasure in my heart that I want to devote my whole life too fully and completely.


I currently have another also but it's personal and has to do with my father's death. Please tell me how I can improve, etc. or what you think!

I like both of them, thanks for sharing with us!

I like both of them, thanks for sharing with us!

Thanks, means a lot. My therapist thinks I should publish a book with my poems in them, she asks to read my new ones and show them to her work buddies.

I like these poems man. Nice work.

Just would like some feedback, don't be scared to hurt my feelings, any type of feedback is appreciated to help me improve.

Sometimes….

Sometimes we have a tendency to see things that aren’t meant to be seen
Sometimes things aren’t forever as they seem
Sometimes we want somebody to call our own
Especially when we’re alone
Sometimes people simply can’t understand
Why things get out of hand
Sometimes life isn’t fair
Especially once people simply don’t care
And typically it’s exhausting to say
Why things have to be this way.


For you….
I knew that love would come find me one day
But never did I know it’d be you who was headed my way
You caught me unexpectedly and took me by surprise
But you charmed me, the same way you do when I look into your eyes
“Where your treasure is, your heart will be also” is how the old saying goes
I may not have knowledge of what tomorrow may bring, for God is the only one who is aware
The one thing I am sure of is that you are my love, my one and only
A treasure in my heart that I want to devote my whole life too fully and completely.


I currently have another also but it's personal and has to do with my father's death. Please tell me how I can improve, etc. or what you think!

Very cool. You put a lot ofthought into them. I like them:)

Thanks for the feedback guys, I type up like 5 poems a day. I hope to share more with you guys.

*clapping* Amazing #Money, keep up the great work!

These are definitely some over the better works I've seen during my time breathing. Keep up the excellent work man.

When you publish a book, tell me. I'll buy it. :3

These are definitely some over the better works I've seen during my time breathing. Keep up the excellent work man.

When you publish a book, tell me. I'll buy it. :3

I have my social worker helping me with that, to be honest. :)

These are very nice poems, I can see them being in a book and getting popular. The thoughts that must go into these, I can feel the emotion as if its mine.